Three Practical Guides to Professional Conduct

Directions to First-Term Members of the National Assembly

1. The Party Leader

When the party leader calls for you, go running immediately. Even if the party leader does not call for you, go and visit. If the party leader is busy, wait outside the door. A member of the National Assembly represents the people, but the party leader represents the members of the National Assembly. If the party leader cannot remember your name, visit even more often. Do not assume that because the people remember your name, there is no need for the party leader to remember it as well.

2. Principles

When you first enter the National Assembly, be sure to have principles. If someone asks what your principles are, reply that they are the party's policies. If the party's policies are different today from what they were yesterday, change your principles accordingly. If someone accuses you of changing your principles, explain that circumstances have changed. Anyone who refuses to change their principles when circumstances have changed is unfit for politics.

3. Senior Members

Even if a senior member says something incorrect, do not contradict them immediately. First nod your head and say that they are right. If a senior member asks for your opinion, ask for theirs again before offering your own. If your opinions agree, announce that party unity has been achieved. If your opinions disagree, you have misunderstood the question.

4. Your Constituency

If a constituent calls and asks you to install a pedestrian crossing in front of an apartment building, promise to resolve the matter immediately. If a pedestrian crossing already exists, promise to install traffic lights. If traffic lights are already there, promise to extend the crossing time. If the responsible agency says the request is impossible, have a photograph taken of yourself protesting to the head of the agency before informing the constituent. Constituents must first be made aware of how hard you have tried to solve their problems, rather than whether you have actually solved them.

5. Your Aides

When hiring aides, give priority to people who know a great deal about public policy. People who understand policy well will also understand what you do not know. If you find something in a document prepared by an aide that you cannot understand, instruct the aide to delete it. If a member of the National Assembly cannot understand a policy, there is no reason to believe that the public can understand it. If a journalist asks detailed questions about a policy, tell them to find the aide who prepared the document. A member of the National Assembly is someone who makes policy, not someone who explains it.

6. Bills

After taking office, introduce as many bills as possible. If a similar law already exists, change one provision and introduce another bill. If another member has introduced it first, give it a slightly different name. Do not worry if your bills are never passed. Passing a bill requires the cooperation of other members, but introducing one requires only your name. At the end of your term, tell the public how many bills you have introduced. The people have a right to know how many laws you have tried to make.

7. The National Assembly Audit

During the National Assembly's annual audit of government affairs, be sure to raise your voice. If a witness tries to answer your question, say that you have not finished asking it. If the witness tries to answer after you have finished, say that there is no time. If the witness ultimately fails to answer, accuse them of refusing an opportunity to reveal the truth before the public. The purpose of the audit is not to obtain answers from witnesses, but to demonstrate to the public that you know how to ask questions.

8. The Press

If a journalist reports your remarks inaccurately, protest immediately. If the journalist reports your remarks accurately and they cause trouble, protest that they have been taken out of context. If the journalist publishes your entire statement, explain that you did not mean what you said. A politician's words always have two meanings: what was said and what was intended. It is the latter that the public needs to know.

9. Election Promises

Be sure to remember the promises you made during the election campaign. If you cannot fulfill a promise after being elected, explain that the necessary budget has not been secured. If the budget has been secured and you still cannot fulfill the promise, explain that the administrative procedures are complicated. If those procedures have been completed, explain that sufficient social consensus is needed. Never say that you have abandoned a promise. Waiting until sufficient consensus has been reached is also an effort to keep it.

10. Apologies

When your wrongdoing comes to light, apologize promptly. Begin by saying that you are sorry for causing concern to the public. If asked what you did wrong, reply that you failed to meet the public's expectations. If a journalist asks about the specific wrongdoing, promise to act with greater caution in the future. In this way, you can make a perfectly adequate apology without mentioning what you did wrong even once. If criticism continues after you have apologized, protest that people are raising an issue you have already apologized for.

11. Re-election

When running for re-election, emphasize how much you accomplished during your previous term. If a project you promoted has been completed, publicize your achievement. If it remains unfinished, appeal for an opportunity to complete it. If you have not even started it, promise to begin working on it in earnest. If voters ask why they should elect you again, explain that first-term members lack experience and therefore deserve another chance. If someone points out that you are no longer a first-term member, reply that you have only now finally learned how to do the job.

12. Standing Committees

When you become a first-term member of the National Assembly, be sure to request an assignment to a standing committee in your area of expertise. If the party leadership assigns you to a different committee, do not complain. Anyone can work in a field they know well, but working in a field they know nothing about requires exceptional ability. If a journalist asks why you chose that committee, reply that it is a field in which you have long been interested. If you begin reading the relevant materials that evening, you will not have lied.

13. The Next First-Term Members

A year after entering the National Assembly, you may have an opportunity to meet newly elected first-term members. Advise them never to lose sight of the ideals they held before becoming members of the National Assembly. Teach them not to worry about what the party leader thinks, not to grovel before senior members, and to conduct politics with their eyes fixed solely on the people. Then, when the party leader calls for you, immediately break off your conversation with the new members and go running. If they look puzzled, explain that they do not yet understand politics. Remaining true to one's original ideals and understanding politics are two entirely different things.

Directions to New Journalists

1. Justice

When you join a newspaper, first resolve to become a journalist devoted to justice. There is no need to trouble yourself over what justice means. A newspaper is an institution that does what is right, so everything done at a newspaper must be right. Do not be confused if your newspaper praises someone today whom it criticized yesterday. Justice is always on the right side, and you can find out which side is right by reading tomorrow morning's newspaper.

2. The Editor

When your editor tells you to revise an article, do not ask what is wrong with it. If the editor changes the headline, change the headline. If the editor deletes a sentence, delete it. If the editor tells you today to restore a sentence that was deleted yesterday, restore it gladly. You may know the facts you have investigated better than anyone else, but your editor knows better than anyone else whether readers need to know those facts. A good journalist discovers facts, and a good editor decides which of those discovered facts are facts.

3. Cash Envelopes

If a source offers you an envelope of money, refuse it at first. Accepting it immediately might make you appear to have come to the interview for the money. Refuse a second time, but do not exert too much effort in pushing the envelope away. On the third attempt, consider your source's dignity. If your refusal to accept the envelope embarrasses your source, you will have violated journalistic ethics. Once you have accepted the envelope, listen even more attentively to what your source says. Taking someone's money and then failing to listen to them is a breach of good manners.

4. Politicians

If a member of the National Assembly invites you to dinner, be sure to attend. If the politician says the conversation is off the record, do not take out your notebook, and nod when important matters are discussed. If the politician tells you about a rival member's corruption, treat it as a disclosure made in the public interest. If the politician explains away their own corruption, give them ample opportunity to clarify the matter. Never forget that the politician may someday become a cabinet minister or even president. A good journalist must keep watch over those in power, so it is wise to become friendly in advance with those who may one day hold power.

5. Fact-Checking

When you receive a tip, write your article immediately. Another newspaper might publish the story first while you are still checking whether the information is true. If your source requests anonymity, guarantee it. If seeking a response from the other side takes too long, write that you attempted to make contact. If the report turns out to be false after publication, you can always issue a correction. A correction demonstrates that the press is capable of correcting its mistakes, so the more inaccurate articles you write, the more opportunities you will have to correct them.

6. Headlines

When writing an article, consider the headline more important than anything else. Even if the body of the article says that ten people attended, you may write in the headline that dozens gathered. After all, if ten people gather on several occasions, they may amount to dozens. If a source mentions a possibility, write the headline as though it has already become reality. If the headline persuades a reader to read the article, it has already fulfilled its purpose. If a reader complains that the headline contradicts the article, thank them for reading the article all the way through.

7. The Public's Right to Know

Value the public's right to know above all else. It is a journalist's duty to report every fact the public needs to know. If reporting a particular fact might be harmful to your newspaper, report it to your editor first. If the editor decides not to publish it, the public does not need to know that fact. The public's right to know is not unlimited, and deciding what the public needs to know requires specialized knowledge. That is precisely why newspapers exist.

8. Advertisers

If you receive a tip that there is a problem with a new product made by a major corporation, consult the advertising department first. If the department is about to sign an important contract with that corporation, do not rush to publish your report. If the company stops advertising, your newspaper's revenue will fall, and if revenue falls, journalists may have to be laid off. If journalists lose their jobs, there will be fewer people to protect the public's right to know. Therefore, postponing an article about a corporation is the most responsible way to protect the public's right to know.

9. Distorted Reporting

When turning your reporting into an article, do not try to include every fact. Too many facts will only confuse readers. If witnesses give conflicting accounts, choose one side. If the circumstances before and after an incident are complicated, retain only the parts that are easy to understand. If a fact does not support the conclusion your editor wants, you can deal with that fact in a later article. Do not worry if you never get around to writing that later article. If readers are told every fact at once, they will have no reason to keep reading the newspaper. A good journalist is not someone who shows the world as it is, but someone who makes the world into something readers can understand.

10. Freedom of the Press

When you finally become an editor, teach the new journalists how precious freedom of the press is. Urge them never to yield to pressure from those in power, never to worry about advertisers, and to pursue the truth to the very end. Then read an article brought to you by a new journalist. If it contains information unfavorable to a politician who has close ties to your newspaper, delete it. If it contains information unfavorable to an advertiser, postpone publication. If the new journalist asks why the article must be changed, explain freedom of the press. Journalists have the freedom to write articles, and editors have the freedom not to publish them. The public has freedom, too. The freedom to buy a different newspaper tomorrow morning.

Directions to Graduate Students (Korea Only)

1. Your Supervisor

When your supervisor calls for you, wait until you have been called three or four times before appearing. If you come running at the first call, your supervisor will assume that you always have nothing to do. If asked why you took so long, explain that you were too busy working on your supervisor's research to hear the call. Your supervisor will be angry, but pleased.

2. Personal Errands

If your supervisor asks you to go to their home to meet an air-conditioner installation technician, be sure to confirm the date and time of the appointment. If the technician is late, wait at your supervisor's home. Once the installation is complete, make sure the air conditioner works properly. Do not complain that you missed a day of experiments. If your supervisor's home becomes too hot, your supervisor will be unable to concentrate on research; and if your supervisor cannot concentrate on research, how can your thesis possibly be supervised?

3. A Thousand Books

If your supervisor asks you to scan a thousand books from their private collection and turn them into e-books, accept the assignment gladly. Photograph the cover of each book, turn every page, straighten every crooked line, and correct every OCR error. Your supervisor has asked you to scan the books because there is no time to read them, and will be satisfied to know that you have read them instead. Do not worry about having no time to write your thesis. Having scanned a thousand books, you have handled more books than almost any other scholar.

4. Educating the Children

If your supervisor asks you to help a high-school-aged child with mathematics homework, do not merely supply the answers. Solve every problem and write out the steps. If the child earns good grades, your supervisor will need to spend less time on the child's education and will consequently have more time to supervise your research. The child's admission to a good university is therefore preliminary research toward the completion of your own degree.

5. Moving House

If your supervisor is moving house, gather the other graduate students. Dismantle the bookshelves, carry the refrigerator, and assemble the furniture once you arrive at the new home. If you injure your back along the way, do not report it immediately. Wait until all the furniture has been moved. This will prevent your supervisor from mistakenly believing that you value your personal health more than your research.

6. Dinner

If your supervisor asks you to arrange dinner for twenty conference participants, do not stop at reserving a restaurant. Check everyone's food allergies, arrange the seating, and pay the bill in advance. Take particular care not to lose the receipt. If your supervisor forgets having left you to pay for dinner, do not remind them. After all, the most important virtue of a scholar is to rely on something other than money or memory.

7. Research Funding

If your supervisor gives a laptop purchased with research funds to their own child, record it in the equipment register as being used in the laboratory. Just because the laptop is not physically in the laboratory does not mean that it is not being used for research. Even while your supervisor's child is playing games on it, the computer is functioning properly. The proper functioning of equipment purchased with research funds is itself evidence of the successful expenditure of those funds.

8. Research Data

If your supervisor looks at a graph for a paper and complains that its curve is too uneven, examine the data immediately. Leave the values that agree with your supervisor's hypothesis untouched and scrutinize the remaining values more carefully. Do not worry if fewer and fewer data points survive your scrutiny. Science is the process of eliminating what is unnecessary, and a perfectly smooth curve is proof that nothing unnecessary remains.

9. Authorship

If you have chosen the research topic, designed the experiments, collected the data, and written the entire paper, give your supervisor the position of first author. Your supervisor was in the laboratory before you arrived and will remain there long after you graduate. It is a law of nature that whoever is present at both the beginning and the end of a study is its rightful owner.

10. Refreshments for the Thesis Defense

Before your thesis defense, find out which teas, fruits, and sweets the examiners prefer. If five examiners are attending, do not make the mistake of preparing refreshments for only five people. Provide enough for your supervisor, the senior students in your laboratory, and any unexpected visitors as well. If the refreshments cost you an entire month's living expenses, take it as proof of your devotion to scholarship. Do not be disappointed if none of the examiners touches the food. Your refreshments have passed their examination before your thesis has.