April - True Grit

Friday, 1st April

Today is the most important day of the year. It’s the first of April. Which means it’s my birthday. I am now officially fourteen. I wish I could take two years at a time every year so I could become an adult faster.

As expected I didn’t get a smartphone. Mum bought me trainers. Since the ones I wear are worn out anyway she says it’s killing two birds with one stone. Dad gave me Hergé’s The Adventures of Tintin. The Secret of the Unicorn, Red Rackham’s Treasure, Tintin in Tibet and Tintin in the Congo. Dad has the nerve to call comics he bought for himself a ‘present’ for me. Does he think I don’t notice? But since he also lives off the pocket money Mum gives him I’ve decided to be understanding.

Grandad and Grandma gave me the complete Sherlock Holmes. Aunt Jeong-su and Uncle. Radio silence. We’ll see tomorrow.

Tonight on the radio I heard an incredible piece of music. ‘April’ by Deep Purple. It felt as if electricity was running through my whole body.

Saturday, 2nd April

I got a smartphone from Aunt Jeong-su and Uncle for my birthday. Unfortunately it isn’t new. Uncle changed his phone and gave me his old one. He reset and cleaned it perfectly, put it back in the original box, and even wrapped it in luxury paper. Honestly when I saw the box with a ribbon I thought it was the latest model. My heart almost stopped. Luckily Aunt Jeong-su quickly told me it was second-hand. Hearing that my heart started beating normally again.

After maths at Aunt Jeong-su’s I went to Dong-wan’s. His dad was polishing shoes on the balcony. He had nine pairs. My dad has two and the heels are already chewed up. Dong-wan’s dad said a man should polish his own shoes. Looking closely, he was just brushing off the dust and putting on some strange, clear cream. Maybe that’s why they didn’t look shiny at all to me. My dad’s shoes are so polished you can almost see your face in them.

Dong-wan’s dad put on The Terminator. An insane film. With the huge screen and pounding sound it felt like being at the cinema. The idea that a machine smarter and stronger than humans could rule the future didn’t seem absurd at all. We already live in a time when AI beats humans at chess. And even at Go, right?

Even if one day they invent a time machine like in the film I will never use it. Because if travelling means you have to go completely naked. Past or future I’m not interested. Even if someone said ‘You can take it and visit paradise’ if I have to undress I will politely refuse.

When I got home Dad had Flash Girl on and had fallen asleep on the sofa. They say if AI keeps advancing even computer programs won’t be written by humans anymore. AI will write them itself. If that happens just how happy would Dad be?

So as not to wake him I went upstairs quietly and read Sherlock Holmes. It’s gripping. I wondered whether I’d become a detective or a writer one day.

Sunday, 3rd April

Dad and I unpacked the boxes piled up in the basement. Just opening a few boxes of books swallowed the whole morning. The old books smelled a bit musty but I don’t dislike that smell.

After lunch Dad wanted to keep unpacking but Mum stopped him saying he shouldn’t overdo it. So Dad said he’d just move the vinyl records to the upstairs storage room. The basement is damp and apparently vinyl gets mouldy. Mum said it’d be better to sell or throw away records we don’t listen to anymore. Dad said ‘Alright alright’ but carried up the six boxes like sacred relics and settled them upstairs. I don’t understand what’s so precious about those records.

I fell asleep reading Sherlock Holmes. In the end being a detective seems more fun than being a writer.

Monday, 4th April

Dong-wan and I leafed through a science magazine in the library. The number of animals slaughtered every year for food is insane. 1.7 million camels, 24 million buffalo, 300 million cows, 400 million goats, 500 million sheep, 600 million turkeys, 1.1 billion rabbits, 1.3 billion pigs, 2.6 billion ducks and 52 billion chickens! Suddenly meat scared me.

Dong-wan and I were snickering saying people even eat camels when Hee-jeong arrived with her best friend Hye-seon and asked us to keep it down. We went quiet as if we’d swallowed honey. And blushed.

Tuesday, 5th April (Tree-Planting Day)

Dong-wan says if AI keeps advancing not only programmers but lots of jobs will disappear. In factories there’ll be only robots. Nothing left for humans. So in Europe they’re thinking about taxing robots. I don’t get it. What money does a robot have to pay tax with? Shouldn’t you tax the owner instead?

In history class we learnt something similar. In the past slaves were made to work by taking away their freedom and in return they weren’t taxed. Robots are like slaves aren’t they? Why should they work 24/7 and then pay tax as well? What is it? The crime of being born a robot?

Wednesday, 6th April

I asked Grandad about the ‘robot tax’. He said it isn’t the robot that pays but the owner. Like ship tax. It’s not the ship, it’s the shipowner. Phew. What a relief. I worried for nothing.

Grandad says one day even in trials humans might not be needed. An AI judge without emotions could give the most impartial verdict. Maybe Dong-wan should rethink his dream of becoming a judge. But how could I say that? He’d be so disappointed.

I went home and reread Sherlock Holmes. To solve a case the most important thing is always securing evidence. Problem. Around me there isn’t a single ‘incident’ worthy of being called a case.

And Dr Watson. I’m still not sure what exactly he’s for.

Thursday, 7th April

From the 21st to the 23rd we’re going on a school trip to Sokcho. Two nights and three days. Our form tutor says we have to prepare a ‘performance’ for the show. Disaster. I’ve inherited not a single talent from my parents. In my opinion one of humanity’s worst inventions is forcing everyone to go ‘from number one to last’ so people can show off. Why not just let those who want to show off?

Friday, 8th April

The money units in Sherlock Holmes are too complicated. Pound crown penny shilling guinea. I understand nothing. I wish I knew what a pound was really worth a hundred years ago.

Saturday, 9th April

After finishing maths at Aunt Jeong-su’s I went to Dong-wan’s. His dad wasn’t home so we couldn’t watch a film. So after asking his mum Dong-wan came over to my place.

Seeing the books in our living room Dong-wan looked genuinely shocked. Dad buys books without even reading them. He says he already read them at university. Is that true? I don’t understand why you’d buy books you’ve already read. At our place we even have three copies of The Catcher in the Rye.

I asked Dong-wan why he stayed calm even when Jong-gu mocked him. Dong-wan said that deep down Jong-gu was rather pitiful. He showed me his fist clenched as tight as he could. Huge like an adult’s. He said he’d promised his mum never to hit anyone. He added that he could easily beat Jong-gu by force but simply didn’t see the need.

On the way to Grandad’s with Dong-wan we stopped by the stall run by the bungeo-ppang Hyung. He was playing lively music at his stand. When I asked what it was he said it was ‘Take Five’ by Dave Brubeck.

Grandad saw Dong-wan patted his head and told him to become the most just judge in the world. I told him the English money units were far too complicated. So Grandad fetched an encyclopaedia and explained it kindly.

One pound is four crowns. Four crowns are twenty shillings. And twenty shillings are two hundred and forty pence. In other words, a pound is either twenty shillings or two hundred and forty pence. A crown is five shillings, florin is two. A shilling is twelve pence and twenty-one shillings make a guinea. And today a pound is about a hundred thousand won. So since a pound is four crowns, a crown is twenty-five thousand won. And since a crown is five shillings, a shilling is five thousand won. A florin worth two shillings is ten thousand won. Since a shilling is twelve pence, a penny is about four hundred and sixteen won. Finally since a guinea is twenty-one shillings, it’s about a hundred and five thousand won today.

Today I understood why maths exists.

Sunday, 10th April

I’m anxious about this stupid performance for the school trip. Mum sings badly Dad sings badly and of course I do too. Mum dances badly Dad dances badly and so do I. No instruments. Nothing. Zero talent to show off.

I keep reading Sherlock Holmes. It’s a thousand times more interesting than The Voyage of the Beagle. To become a detective you have to observe well. So today I trained my powers of observation all around the house. I even took photos with my smartphone ‘for evidence’.

- Observation List -

1. Dad didn’t wash his hair. He just got it wet quickly and lied to Mum. Mum noticed nothing.
2. The stairs from the living room (1st floor) to my room (2nd floor) have exactly seventeen steps.
3. The towels dumped in my parents’ room have been lying there for three days already.
4. Behind the TV I found Dad’s lost business card holder.
5. Under the kitchen mat I found Mum’s lost handkerchief.
6. I saw Dad secretly hide emergency cash. He stashes it in The Analects of Confucius. He gave me 10,000 won and told me to keep quiet.

In the end, it’s better to be a detective who makes money than a writer who stays poor.

Monday, 11th April

Ppagasari’s social studies textbook has disappeared!

Since morning Ppagasari has been running around looking for it. Too many suspects to list. He’s shouted at too many people. He orders everyone around with a single finger.

‘Hey you, come here.’

‘Hey you, pick up the rubbish.’

‘Hey you, don’t run.’

‘Hey you, change your shoes.’

‘Hey you, bring your parents.’

And with that same finger he also picks his nose.

With Sherlock Holmes’s sharp eye I searched for the book. No luck. Staring too hard made my eyes go bloodshot.

Tuesday, 12th April

Still no sign of the textbook. Ppagasari wants to search all the students’ personal lockers making a huge fuss. But the headteacher is against it so for now he can’t.

Wednesday, 13th April

In PE my stomach hurt. On the way to the nurse’s office I passed our classroom to grab my jacket and smartphone. And then Jong-gu came in. He didn’t see me. He looked around and rummaged through Dong-wan’s bag. My heart was pounding but I stayed calm. I filmed it with my smartphone. He found Dong-wan’s locker key. Then from his own locker he pulled out Ppagasari’s thick textbook and slipped it into Dong-wan’s locker. It was so big and obvious I recognised it at once. My heart nearly burst.

After filming I sneaked up to the nurse’s office. And behind me I heard. ‘Byeok what are you doing here?’ It was our form tutor. I thought my heart would drop onto the floor. I said it was PE and I was going to the nurse because my stomach hurt then slipped away.

Lying in the nurse’s office I thought about how to punish Jong-gu. But I couldn’t think for long. The medicine the nurse gave me knocked me out.

When she woke me school was already over. Since I wasn’t in class at the end our form tutor came all the way to the nurse’s office. The nurse said she’d ‘forgotten’ me because I was sleeping so deeply. As I sat up I heard the teachers talking.

‘But why would Dong-wan hide Mr Kim Su-yeong’s textbook?’ the nurse asked.

‘I don’t know. Mr Kim wants to punish him. He’s furious. Even if I apologise he won’t listen.’

Hearing that I couldn’t hold back.

‘No! The one who hid Mr Kim’s book. It wasn’t Dong-wan. It was Jong-gu!’ I shouted. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking.

‘How do you know?’ our form tutor asked.

‘Do you have proof?’ the nurse’s eyes went wide.

I took a breath and explained calmly step by step. The two teachers watched the video on my phone then let out a huge sigh.

Dong-wan who had cried so much his eyes were swollen like chestnuts was cleared. I walked him home.

What a day.

Thursday, 14th April

This morning the rumour of the video swept through the school like a storm. Thanks to my courageous act Dong-wan was completely cleared. Without the video he could never have shaken off the accusation.

While the teachers were discussing Jong-gu’s punishment his father arrived. His father is a police chief. Apparently he slapped Jong-gu several times the moment he saw him. Jong-gu apologised to Ppagasari and to Dong-wan. Of course under his father’s eye. Jong-gu didn’t return to class. He left with him. His cheeks were swollen as he crossed the corridor.

At the end of the day our form tutor said that since Jong-gu had been a ‘model student’ he’d be forgiven this time. If Jong-gu’s father sold bungeo-ppang there’d have been no forgiveness.

On the way home I complained to Dong-wan. The punishment was too light. Dong-wan walked in silence then after a long while said ‘The day I moved from Yongsan to Bamseom I saw a boy my age in a supermarket being beaten by his father. I turned away so I wouldn’t see but our eyes met. On the first day of term I realised that boy was Jong-gu. He recognised me too. He bullied me because he was ashamed I’d seen him being beaten. But it’s not really his fault. It’s his father’s.’

We walked for a long time without speaking.

Friday, 15th April

Jong-gu’s clique no longer hangs around with him. Seeing him alone at break and lunchtime, it pinched my heart. Looking at him today he was small not really strong. Before I thought he was much bigger and much more powerful than me. In fact no. Without his gang Jong-gu was small and scrawny.

I spent almost the whole evening on Aunt Jeong-su’s maths homework. From next week there’s the ‘maths gifted’ class. In our class Hee-jeong Dong-wan and Jong-gu were chosen.

Saturday, 16th April

I practised the song I’m supposed to sing for the trip show. Dad mocked me. ‘Sounds like someone slaughtering a pig.’ When I didn’t back down and sang another song Mum told me to stop. I’m neither gifted at maths nor talented in music. So what am I exactly?

Sunday, 17th April

Mum took me to the department store to buy clothes for the school trip. She shot past the famous brands without even looking then picked jeans and a T-shirt from a corner ‘sale’ rack at the end. I didn’t really have a choice. I wish I’d never learnt the word ‘coordination’.

If I want to be a writer I’ll have to get used to poverty. In the end maybe detective is better. After all I’ve already solved a case!

Monday, 18th April

I think our form tutor is developing early dementia. He said only volunteers will perform in the trip show. Last time everyone didn’t mean everyone had to go on stage but everyone had to attend the show. The students booed ‘Eeeeh!’ But whether it’s dementia or mad cow disease I’m one hundred per cent in favour.

Since the textbook incident I feel like I have more friends around me. Today Hee-jeong asked me. ‘So what are you doing for the show?’ ‘Er…’ In my mouth saliva turned into glue. The bell saved me.

The sky is high and blue. The world is beautiful. Today max 18°C in Seoul. Isn’t that the perfect temperature for love?

Tuesday, 19th April

On the bus home I saw Dong-wan and Jong-gu together. I tried to pull out my smartphone to film but the bus moved and I caught nothing. I hope nothing happens…

Wednesday, 20th April

I packed my bag for the school trip. Too much stuff. It wouldn’t fit. I halved it. Still too heavy to carry. Dad saw it and said ‘Halve it again.’

- Travel list (cut to half of a half) -

1. Two pairs of jeans (one worn, one in the bag)
2. One hoodie and one shirt (hoodie worn, shirt in bag)
3. One jacket
4. Three pairs of pants
5. Three vests
6. Three pairs of socks
7. One PE kit
8. One towel
9. Wallet (a little souvenir money)
10. Small torch
11. Travel toilet paper
12. Wash bag (toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, Nivea lotion)
13. Wet wipes
14. Smartphone charger
15. Earphones

* What finally didn’t fit: spare jeans, spare shirt, spare underwear, spare socks, wool socks for sleeping, spare towel, spare handkerchief, pyjamas, spare jacket, hiking shoes, slippers, spare earphones and a sleeping bag.

After thinking I’m not taking my diary. It’s the twenty-first century. So for two days I’ll write on my smartphone.

Seeing my huge bag Dad nicknamed me ‘the clean freak’. Mum laughed till she nearly ran out of breath and said we should go to court to change my name. I felt a bit left out.

Thursday, 21st April

I want to go home!

I thought we’d ride calmly on the bus admire the scenery climb Seoraksan to forge our spirits and breathe the sea breeze. Not at all. It’s chaos. The driver asked for silence several times but the students’ chatter turned the bus into a marketplace. My ears are still ringing.

And yet in the service-area toilets I heard the driver of Class 4 say. ‘My God! I’ve never seen students so quiet and well-behaved.’ Ppagasari’s class really is different. Our form tutor is snoring away…

Because of the rain the campfire is postponed till tomorrow. In a tiny room the boys are playing truth game. Yuck.

After the game Jong-gu was called outside by his former mates. Min-jun from Class 1 and Ju-won from Class 4 were with them. They’d clearly planned to ‘let off steam’ on Jong-gu during this trip. Jong-gu followed them without a word. Dong-wan looked at me. A look that said ‘Come on let’s stand with him.’ I hesitated. I didn’t want to get into a fight and honestly whether Jong-gu got shouted at or not wasn’t my business. Dong-wan read my face looked away and went after them alone. I looked around. Nobody else was going to side with Jong-gu and Dong-wan. In my head I swore ‘Damn it’ and ran outside.

Behind the lodge things heated up. The guys told us to get lost said it was none of our business. They hurled insults impossible to write in a diary. Furious Dong-wan stepped towards them. They backed off surprised by his momentum. Dong-wan scanned around and spotted a big abandoned mortar. He went to it shouted and lifted it above his head with both hands. As he advanced they began to retreat one by one. Dong-wan yelled ‘Aaaah!’ and threw the mortar aside. Completely terrified they ran off screaming ‘Every man for himself!’ Dong-wan was panting then he smiled softly at Jong-gu and me. Jong-gu was so stunned he couldn’t even say thank you. He froze.

Tomorrow we climb Seoraksan… I was scared Dong-wan might push the rocking rock down the mountain. I didn’t sleep a wink. It might be better to suggest to our form tutor that we adjust the route.

Friday, 22nd April

Bringing only one towel was a monumental mistake. There are no towels here. Red alert for hygiene. And on top of that I forgot my charger. I’m using Dong-wan’s. And I don’t even know why I brought that torch.

The food here is catastrophic. Compared to this our school cafeteria looks like a hotel buffet. From now on I will never complain about school meals again.

They say last night during truth game Hee-jeong and Hye-seon had a fight. Truth makes people uncomfortable. I know that just by looking at my parents.

Today it wasn’t raining so we climbed Seoraksan. The teachers chose the Biseondae route instead of the rocking rock because the path was slippery. I’d spent the night worrying Dong-wan would push it down. What a relief.

In the evening we had the campfire and the show. Classes 2, 5 and 6 all did exactly the same thing. Dance and sing to True Colors. It should go into the Guinness World Records. Hee-jeong and Hye-seon who were supposed to sing a duet for our class gave up because of that stupid truth game.

Dong-wan sticks to Jong-gu like a bodyguard.

Saturday, 23rd April

Home is paradise. I can’t write anything here.

Sunday, 24th April

I went to Aunt Jeong-su’s for maths. With exams coming up she kept me all morning. I gave her a dodgy ladle and spatula set bought on the trip. Of course made in China. She locked me in the study and checked every hour how many problems I’d solved. With her there’s no mercy. I should’ve bought a made in Korea set.

Drowsy afternoon. Mum cuts Dad’s hair washes his head blow-dries it. Dad looks like a tame cat. Then it’s my turn. Snip snip hair falls. I feel better. Dad turns up the music in the living room.

We really did well to leave that cramped Bamseom flat for this house with a yard. A peaceful weekend. I feel happy. Until Aunt Jeong-su calls. ‘Tomorrow morning 8:55. You come study!’

Monday, 25th April

No school today. A compensatory day after the trip. Instead I had to do a mountain of maths at Aunt Jeong-su’s. Dad went back to work. Even a cow or pig being led to slaughter couldn’t look sadder. Mum on the other hand isn’t afraid to go to work. She only has three employees but she’s the boss.

Just as I was about to leave Aunt Jeong-su’s Hee-jeong came in. ‘Byeok you work hard.’ She said that instead of hello.

‘Er…’ I don’t know why but in front of her my mouth just stops working. Hee-jeong smiled and went into the study.

After homework I read The Secret of the Unicorn, my birthday present. It’s a gem. Tintin that boy reporter. I love him. In fact ‘reporter’ is detective plus writer mixed together.

But looking at Uncle. Reporter is mostly just employee. Maybe because he’s a proofreader.

Tuesday, 26th April

Dong-wan says he’s decided to be friends with Jong-gu. He told me we should be friends the three of us. I said I’d think about it. But I don’t want to. We’re not three friends. It’s more like three guys in the same gang. Our ties are too tangled.

At lunch there were fried prawns. With Holmes’s eye I concluded. Prawns are the cockroaches of the sea. Their bellies are a bit disgusting. But they taste good.

Hee-jeong has lost her best friend and hangs around alone these days. Does she even know I exist?

Wednesday, 27th April

Dong-wan suggested we study at his place after school. I went. His mum wasn’t there only the helper. Dong-wan doesn’t go to cram school either like me. Yet he’s good. To me Dong-wan is smart. He remembers what he hears. I mostly remember useless things.

While we were studying Jong-gu arrived.

‘Jong-gu! Come in!’ Dong-wan said opening the door.

‘You studying? Hey Heo Byeok. Where do you live?’

He spoke to me as if he felt nothing about me. As if it were natural.

‘Byeok lives in Gugil-dong.’ Dong-wan said.

‘The third-years say there are always lots of salt-water problems and speed-and-distance problems in exams.’ Jong-gu said pretending to hide his mouth with his finger.

‘They say Hee-jeong’s ‘solo’ you know?’ Dong-wan asked Jong-gu.

‘Yeah. The class rep yeong-su tried sticking to her and got slapped,’ Jong-gu replied.

The two of them talked like ping-pong. It was strange and unfamiliar. A funny sense of exclusion rose in me.

At home I found a very thin comic on Dad’s shelf. Hey, Wait… by Jason. So thin I’d never even noticed it before. But Dad snatched it away. ‘That book is a no!’ And locked it in a cupboard with a padlock. On the cover was a dog with its ears pricked. Why ‘no’? An adult comic? I’m grown up now too. I know everything or almost…

Thursday, 28th April

Seeing Dong-wan at school I felt a strange distance. He suggested studying together again. I lied and said I had an appointment with Grandad.

Friday, 29th April

Again today Dong-wan suggested it. I lied. Appointment with Grandma.

Saturday, 30th April

I dreamed my nose grew long like a stick. In the dream Jong-gu grabbed it and snapped it. And Dong-wan instead of stopping him laughed and giggled. I woke up with a start. 8:30.

To avoid being late for Aunt Jeong-su’s without even washing I took Dad’s car and went. Thankfully I wasn’t late. Dad didn’t even look at Aunt Jeong-su and drove off at once. Dad’s scared of her too.

Before class Aunt Jeong-su made me wash my face then gave me bread and milk. She said my attitude—wanting not to be late—was praiseworthy but I had to get up earlier. Today we mostly did salt-water problems and speed problems. Maybe because they were easy I got seven out of ten.

After maths I ate at Grandad’s for the first time in ages. Grandma is in hospital with a cold. Lately I’ve been too indifferent to them. I did the lunch washing-up.

On the way home I stopped by the bungeo-ppang Hyung’s stall. He plays jazz to attract customers but in my opinion he should change the music. Still I like jazz. I don’t know any pieces or musicians yet. But it draws me.

I shared the orange juice Grandma had made with him. He told me he’d gone to university but quit his job at the end of last year. Office life was too suffocating and inhuman apparently. At night he sings in clubs but he isn’t famous yet. Of course. If a celebrity sold bungeo-ppang, fish-shaped buns, that’d already count as ‘making it’ wouldn’t it?