May - Hey, Wait…
Sunday, 1st May (Labour Day)
Dad starts grumbling first thing because Labour Day falls on a Sunday. I told him that today isn’t ‘Workers’ Day’ but ‘Labour Day’. Dad said ‘Workers’ Day’ is the right term.
‘Are ‘worker’ and ‘employee’ different?’
‘Of course. ‘Employee’ is like saying ‘a diligent worker’.’
‘Being diligent is good isn’t it?’
‘Of course. But even a positive word becomes unfair if it’s badly weighted. If instead of ‘ladies and gentlemen’ we said ‘gentlemen and well-behaved ladies’ what would you think? ‘Well-behaved lady’ is a nice phrase but does it belong there?’
‘No. It feels unequal.’
‘Exactly. ‘Employers and employees’ is the same. It’s lopsided. If you wanted balance you’d have to say ‘good bosses and conscientious workers’.’
‘So that’s why you call it Workers’ Day not Employees’ Day?’
‘Yes. I prefer ‘worker’. It sounds straighter. Prouder.’
All of a sudden Dad seemed absurdly cool. So I confessed something I’d been keeping to myself.
‘I feel left out because Dong-wan is too close to Jong-gu.’
Dad stared at me and asked.
‘Why? Are you jealous?’
‘No.’
‘Then what’s the problem?’
‘I don’t like Dong-wan being friends with Jong-gu. Jong-gu is nasty. He bullies people.’
‘But these days Jong-gu is the one being frozen out isn’t he?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then thanks to Dong-wan he won’t get worse.’
‘Yes. That’s true.’
‘So what’s the problem?’
‘…’
Today I think Dad put a small spell on me.
Monday, 2nd May
- First day of exams -
- Korean. Reading a lot doesn’t have much to do with your Korean grade.
- Social Studies. Being ‘good with people’ doesn’t mean you’ll score well in ‘social’.
Tuesday, 3rd May
- Second day of exams -
- English. I don’t know why I got such a good mark.
- Science. My dream isn’t to be a scientist. So I’ve decided not to cling to my science grade.
Wednesday, 4th May
- Third day of exam -
- Maths. They call this a miracle. Out of twenty questions I only got three wrong.
After the paper I rang Aunt Jeong-su. She replied calmly that she already knew. She’d expected it. I think Aunt Jeong-su has bewitched me too.
Thursday, 5th May (Children’s Day)
I went to the cinema with Dong-wan and Jong-gu. But the only films we could get into were rubbish cartoons. I wanted to go home but the two of them said we’d watch ‘anything’. The theatre was packed with primary-school kids and their parents. I spent two surreal hours in an unreal place and by the end my brain felt completely drained.
After swallowing pizza and cola, Jong-gu left saying he had to be home by one. Dong-wan and I were alone together—properly alone—for the first time in ages. We walked to the bus stop. Dong-wan’s bus came first. As he got on he thanked me. My chest felt. Cleared out. Fresh.
After seeing him off I went to Kyobo Book Centre by myself. It’s where Dad sometimes buys CDs of Flash Girl. Dad never buys online. He says if you buy online there’s no story left. I don’t understand what ‘story’ you need in order to buy a CD.
In the music section I bought a Deep Purple CD with ‘April’ on it. The cover was truly monstrous. A frightening image of a rat eating a human. But I loved that horror. The shop assistant must have been impressed by my taste.
This is my first ever album for my collection. Later, when I see this CD again as an adult, I’ll remember how I opened my heart again to Dong-wan, that mung-bean-pancake-looking Jong-gu, and Kyobo Book Centre.
The money for Parents’ Day carnations is going to be tight.
Friday, 6th May
No school again today. It’s the school’s anniversary. Mum and Dad went to work so I had the house to myself. It’s May but the sky is grey and heavy. In the living room I played Deep Purple loudly. Carried along by the music I shouted and flailed about. And then I saw sitting on the speaker the book Dad had forbidden. Hey, Wait… by Jason. At the sight of it I swallowed. The books Dad locks away are banned books I’m not allowed to read until Year 11.
I picked up Hey, Wait… and hesitated. The thick pencil cover showed only a cute dog with rabbit ears. On the back it said. Warning. This beautiful story could hurt your heart… I wanted to open it. But I put it back on the speaker. I didn’t want to betray my promise to Dad.
At noon I went to Grandad’s. Grandad and Grandma were looking at photos on a smartphone. Photos of my Samchon who works in Beijing. He’s Dad’s younger brother. Until last year he came to Seoul often but he must be very busy now. After the washing-up I massaged Grandma’s shoulders and knees. When they had their nap I slipped quietly out of Grandad’s flat. At the entrance, as always, the bungeo-ppang Hyung was selling.
‘Hyung do you know a song called ‘April’? Deep Purple.’
‘It’s on the radio every 1 April. Why?’
‘Hyung, how do you know that?’
‘Kid, on 1 April it’s ‘April’ and on 31 October it’s Lee Yong’s ‘The Forgotten Season’ all day long. So why?’
‘The song is good and the cover is pretty. Don’t you think?’
‘Oh! You’ve got an eye. That’s a Bosch painting. Hieronymus Bosch. I first saw it in Year 10 and fell in love.’
‘Hyung, then do you know a cartoonist called Jason?’
‘No. What do you take me for a doctor? Why?’
‘No nothing. See you hyung.’
Back home Hey, Wait… was still on the speaker. The banned book was calling me. The rabbit-eared dog seemed to whisper. It’s fine. Open me. Listen to my story.
I opened the first page…
Saturday, 7th May
Aunt Jeong-su scolded me because I couldn’t concentrate. During the lesson she ordered me three times to go and wash my face. While washing I caught my reflection. My ears were long like a rabbit’s. I jolted.
I bought six carnations. For Mum, Dad, Grandad, Grandma, Aunt Jeong-su and Uncle. Flowers cost as much as gold.
I had no energy. I lay down all afternoon. I thought about life and death. Then I fell asleep. I dreamed of a bus. The miserable passengers all had empty eyes. I sat next to Jon and Bjorn from Hey, Wait… The bus drove through darkness.
When I woke up it was raining.
Sunday, 8th May (Parents’ Day)
When I woke up Mum and Dad were still asleep. So first I pinned carnations on Grandad and Grandma. Then I took the bus to Aunt Jeong-su’s. She hugged me very tightly. Uncle, embarrassed by the carnations, hesitated, then got told off by Aunt Jeong-su. Red as a tomato he gave me pocket money. Since I hadn’t eaten Aunt Jeong-su made breakfast. Bagels, milk, strawberries, bell peppers. She stared at me across the table.
‘Why don’t you have a child?’
‘It’s because of me.’ Uncle said, smiling.
‘But there’s IVF isn’t there?’
‘Oh my God—this one.’ Aunt Jeong-su looked horrified.
‘I know everything. We learn it in science.’
‘Byeok it’s not that kind of problem. It’s more complicated. When you’re older I’ll tell you.’
The adult world is too complicated. These days maths problems seem almost like the simplest things in existence.
When I got home Mum and Dad were having a late brunch. I sat on the sofa waiting for them to finish. The book Hey, Wait… which had been on the speaker was gone. After the meal they got changed. I pinned carnations on them. But strangely I couldn’t look Dad in the eye.
I went up to my room and flipped through Tintin in the Congo but it felt bland. Uninteresting. At that moment Dad knocked and came in. ‘Did you see it?’ he asked, sitting on the bed.
‘…’
I couldn’t say anything. I started to cry.
‘I’m sorry. I should’ve put it away better…’
He stroked my hair.
‘Byeok from now on you should only look at beautiful things. Pretty things. Bright things. You’ll understand when you’re older but there’s no rush. Forget Jon and Bjorn.’
‘…’
My throat was knotted. But I felt relieved. I could finally look Dad in the eye. Jon and Bjorn seemed to fade inside me too, carried away by my tears.
‘Tintin in the Congo… it’s not great. When you’ve finished it tell me what you think.’
Then Dad left.
I’m curious. What did Dad think when he read Hey, Wait…? Does he think about life and death too? What was his dream? And today. What does he dream of?
Monday, 9th May
In maths the ‘dung-beetle’ teacher called my name and made me stand. ‘Byeok not bad. In Year 7 you said you were giving up on maths and now it looks like you’ve actually worked.’
‘Ah, yes…’ I stammered.
And from the back someone let out, in a small voice but loud enough for everyone to hear. ‘Didn’t he copy off Dong-wan?’
And then a miracle happened. Yes, a miracle!
‘Oi Shin Cheol-jin! Mind your own business. What do you think you know? Byeok studies maths like a maniac!’
It was Hee-jeong who had just shut up Cheol-jin, that little creep.
The class went ‘Woooah!’ Dong-wan smiled and thumped me hard on the back. Cheol-jin worked his mouth a bit then went quiet.
Fourteen years old. I’d never had a moment more ecstatic than that.
After class Dong-wan and Jong-gu suggested tteokbokki but I said I had an appointment. Dong-wan smiled and thumped my back again.
At the school gate under the fine spring rain I waited for Hee-jeong. The sound of raindrops on my umbrella was cheerful. I waited more than thirty minutes but she didn’t come. And yet I didn’t hate the waiting. On the contrary. I didn’t know waiting for someone could feel so sweet. I don’t understand why Aunt Jeong-su hates waiting for me during her lessons. It’s thrilling. It’s pleasant.
For a long time I practised what I would say.
‘Thanks for today. Shall we get jajangmyeon?’ No, too heavy.
‘Thanks hey! Do you like tteokbokki?’ No I don’t want to smear chilli paste on her lips.
‘Hee-jeong thank you. Shall we go out?’ No, too fast.
And then suddenly. ‘Hey, Heo Byeok! What are you doing there?’
I lifted my umbrella. Hee-jeong and Hye-seon were together under the same umbrella.
Tuesday, 10th May (Buddha’s Birthday)
Mum left early for work again. With the May long weekend she hasn’t had a second. At this rate we might actually become rich.
Dad is sprawled out like an octopus. These days whenever he opens his mouth it’s to say he’s tired. He can rest as much as he likes. One day of work and he looks emptied out. I feel sorry for Dad. He clearly doesn’t have the build for being an employee.
After breakfast I was reading Tintin in Tibet when Dong-wan called and told me to come over. His dad saw me and called me ‘little hero’. I replied ‘I’m not little.’ He laughed and apologised.
‘Waaah!’ Jong-gu shouted when he saw the home cinema.
‘My dad just downloads stuff for free…’ Jong-gu started talking about his father, then let the sentence die.
Dong-wan’s dad put on The Shawshank Redemption and asked, ‘It’s rated 15. You’re fifteen aren’t you?’
‘Yeees.’ I answered proudly. In situations like this Dad taught me you don’t count ‘international age’. You cheat a little.
The film shook all of us. Jong-gu was buzzing. It had become his all-time number one.
‘Bloody hell that film is insane! The prison governor—what a bastard! But Andy—he’s unreal. Right?’
Words you could never say in our house came out of his mouth one by one. Then he blurted, ‘By the way, I reckon Hee-jeong really likes you, Byeok.’
‘…’
I stared at Dong-wan then Jong-gu like an idiot.
‘You didn’t know? The whole class knows,’ Jong-gu said.
Today I discovered Hee-jeong’s secret. For the first time in my life I prayed to God that it wasn’t a joke.
Wednesday, 11th May
I feel like every pop song in the world is about me.
Dad says he’s sick of this rain that’s been falling for days, but for me it’s absolutely beautiful.
I think I finally understand the line Dad hums whenever it rains. ‘Love is like the rain behind the window’.
Thursday, 12th May
In maths the dung-beetle teacher wrote a complicated equation on the board and asked who could solve it. Dong-wan, Jong-gu and Hee-jeong raised their hands. The teacher said ‘Not you three. Anyone else?’ From the back Cheol-jin said in that small but audible voice. ‘Byeok.’ The teacher looked at me. ‘Alright, Byeok. Have a go.’
I wrote it out and solved it. The teacher arms folded leaning by the window watched me closely. When I finished he said ‘The answer is correct. The reasoning is perfect. Anyone who doesn’t understand write it down.’ I felt embarrassed. I lifted my head slightly and glanced at Hee-jeong. A smile slid across her lips. My heart pumped 3.14 times faster.
Dong-wan says I should talk to her. But the courage wouldn’t come. I’m afraid I’ll live my whole life without a girlfriend. At the end of the day our form tutor handed out a notice. For Teachers’ Day gifts are forbidden. Don’t worry sir. My parents won’t be giving anything anyway.
Friday, 13th May
During breakfast I saw a small spider scuttle under the table. Without thinking, I crushed it with my foot. All day my heart felt heavy. I should’ve put it outside in the yard…
Saturday, 14th May
I went early to Aunt Jeong-su’s for maths. Hee-jeong was already there studying. Aunt Jeong-su gave me a stack of questions and told me to do them alone at the kitchen table. Since they were easy ones I finished quickly. I watched the study room where Hee-jeong was and kept thinking about her smile. Saliva pooled in my mouth and stuck in my throat. When I coughed Aunt Jeong-su told me to stop making noise and drink water.
When Hee-jeong’s lesson ended Aunt Jeong-su came out. Looking at my answers she seemed a little surprised.
‘Byeok you haven’t learnt three of these yet. How did you do them? Are you studying maths separately?’
‘No. Haven’t we already done that?’
Hee-jeong cut in. ‘Auntie Byeok got praised in maths. Twice.’
‘Really? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Ah yes…’
‘Doesn’t Byeok know how to say anything other than ‘ah’ and ‘yes’?’
‘Ah yes…’
I don’t know why my mouth won’t open.
‘Well then. Looks like you like Hee-jeong.’
Even Uncle reading the paper in the living room joined in.
My face burned like a candle.
The lift ride down to the ground floor felt longer than a million years. All I did was swallow.
‘Byeok what are you doing now?’
‘Er…’ And suddenly a sentence arrived. ‘Nothing.’
‘Then shall we cycle along the Han River?’
‘I don’t live in Bamseom anymore. So I don’t have a bike.’
‘Doesn’t matter. Come to mine.’
Hee-jeong tugged my rucksack strap.
Hee-jeong’s mum is the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. Right after Hee-jeong. This is a scientifically proven fact. If the princess is beautiful the queen must be too.
When she saw me her mum said ‘Ah, is that you—Gae?’
I said ‘No I’m not a dog. I’m Byeok.’
Hee-jeong’s brother snickered. Hee-jeong shouted ‘Oppa!’
Then her dad came out of the bedroom saying ‘In our flat we’re not allowed to keep a dog.’
So her mum replied ‘No, not that. I meant Gyae—him.’
And her dad said ‘Ah! So it’s you. Byeok!’
Korean pronunciation is genuinely difficult.
Hee-jeong and I cycled to Seonyudo and back. Without the yellow dust I’d have wanted to ride longer but the air was too filthy so we came back early. We ate burgers and drank cola while chatting but I don’t remember a single word. I wonder if I’m going to end up with heart disease.
Sunday, 15th May (Teachers’ Day)
Hee-jeong called early. She wanted to go to an amusement park. I stuffed all my emergency cash into my wallet. Dad drove us to her place. As I got out Dad took out his wallet handed me 30,000 won and gave me a thumbs-up. ‘Go on. Do it properly.’ It was childish but for 30,000 won I decided to keep quiet.
Einstein was right. Time is relative. I don’t remember anything about the day but one thing is certain. My heart beat 3.14 times faster.
Monday, 16th May
Hee-jeong and I are officially going out. The whole class knows. Her parents know. My parents know. Grandad and Grandma know. Aunt Jeong-su and Uncle know. At this point you could say the entire world has been informed.
To give my diary a bit of ‘literary dignity’ I’ll copy a poem by Jean Cocteau.
The Wood Pigeon - Jean Cocteau
Two wood pigeons
with tender hearts
fell in love.
The rest
I cannot say.
Tuesday, 17th May
Next week there’s an illustrated poetry exhibition at school. I write the poem. Hee-jeong does the drawing. We can’t be separated now. At the amusement park I literally risked my life to go on every ride she wanted. After the Gyro Drop I had to swallow two headache pills… She’s afraid of nothing. I get travel sickness just going up to the second floor at home.
Wednesday, 18th May (18th May Commemoration Day)
I wrote the poem for the exhibition and showed it to Hee-jeong. She says it’s too abstract too conceptual and she doesn’t understand it.
The Herring’s Dream - Heo Byeok
A blue fish hung on the wall
When all life falls deeply asleep
you whistle softly
The herring dreams of a blue ocean
But your blue back is only a product of evolution
nothing more.
It is May.
I know it.
The herring’s blue dream.
I reread it again and again and even I don’t know what it’s about. I think this isn’t it. Like Hee-jeong says I should write something simpler.
Thursday, 19th May
May – Heo Byeok
The wind blows.
Between zelkova leaves the sky hides.
The rain falls.
In a silent room objects speak to me softly.
The wind blows again
and the wind covers the world.
What is this
this clear blue thing
that has settled
in the sky
in the street
and in my heart?
Hee-jeong says it’s hard to choose between May and The Herring’s Dream. She says May is ‘a bit easier’ so she drew for that one. Mum and Dad read both poems and said ‘Becoming a writer is your choice but maybe try a genre other than poetry.’
Friday, 20th May
Hee-jeong brought an incredible drawing for my poem May. At the top green zelkova leaves dance in the wind. In the centre a wide schoolyard spreads out. At the bottom distant buildings are drawn like grains of millet. Looking at her drawing I felt something drain out of my chest. A cold sensation.
Our form tutor was speechless for a moment. The art teacher said her work was at the level of a Year 11 student and praised her a lot. Even Jong-gu said the drawing made a hollow ache in his chest. But no one. Not a single person. Said anything about my poem.
Saturday, 21st May
Hee-jeong moved her maths lesson to Saturdays at 10:25. At first Aunt Jeong-su refused but Hee-jeong’s mum asked too so she adjusted. My lesson is at 8:55. Hee-jeong’s is at 10:25. During her lesson I’ll do my maths homework at the kitchen table. If she finishes at 11:45 we’ll have the entire Saturday afternoon together.
From today Aunt Jeong-su gave me double the homework. She says the final covers a wider range than the midterm. Without doubling effort you can’t get a good mark. I decided to believe her. Of course it’s not to please Hee-jeong.
After maths I went to Hee-jeong’s. Her mum made ‘proper’ spaghetti. My mum puts ketchup on pasta. Hee-jeong’s mum used ‘real’ sauce.
Hee-jeong showed me her sketchbook. Her drawing for the exhibition wasn’t a fluke. Everything was incredible. They didn’t look like drawings by a girl my age. There was lots of emptiness lots of space. Hollow solitary drawings. What does she think about deep inside?
‘So?’
‘It’s good. You’re strong.’
‘My brother draws better.’
‘Your brother? But he’s in secondary school isn’t he?’
‘Yes. He’s going to art school.’
She brought out her brother’s sketchbook. His drawings were all dark almost frightening. Like the Bosch image I’d seen on the Deep Purple cover. But they were beautiful. It was the first time I’d seen a painter’s work up close like that. Until now ‘seeing paintings’ meant looking at an art book on Dad’s shelf or a calendar. Of course I’d seen works at the contemporary art museum in Gwacheon or at the National Museum. But holding a sketchbook in your hands and turning it page by page is different. It was a Year 13 boy’s sketchbook, but I preferred those drawings.
‘It looks like Bosch…’
‘Huh? You know Bosch? Hieronymus Bosch?’ Hee-jeong looked shocked.
‘Yes. I saw it on a Deep Purple cover.’
‘You know Deep Purple?’
‘And you?’
‘Yes. My brother’s a fan. Because of Deep Purple he even bought a Bosch album. He says when he goes to university he’ll go to the Prado in Spain just to see those paintings.’
Hee-jeong brought the Bosch album from her brother’s room. We turned the pages one by one. Full of fascinating images. Then we went back to the drawings in the sketchbook. They looked sharper. I felt as if I were opening my eyes to drawing. A strange sensation.
Hee-jeong’s mum looked at us and said ‘Why does Seok-hee only draw things that weird?’
Sunday, 22nd May
On my way home from Hee-jeong’s after maths I saw what I shouldn’t have seen. Jong-gu’s father hitting Jong-gu hard on the head. I walked away quickly and left through the other side of the building. My heart is still pounding.
In the evening I had dinner with Mum and Dad at Grandad’s. Grandad and Grandma leave tomorrow for Jeju. A trip for their 45th wedding anniversary. Just thinking about it is beautiful.
I spent the whole day with Hee-jeong and yet I miss her. Why?
Monday, 23rd May
This Friday at the sports festival Hee-jeong was chosen for the girls’ 400m relay. Dong-wan and Jong-gu were selected to represent our class in basketball. I’m a ‘starter’ in tug-of-war. And tug-of-war is the whole class. No absences.
After school Hee-jeong went to practise the relay. I don’t need to practise tug-of-war. I watched Hee-jeong run. She runs lightly—very well. I still can’t believe I’ve become close to a girl that pretty. I don’t even feel like I’ve done enough good deeds to deserve it.
Until her training finished I hung around the parallel bars. Until now I’d only used them to hang my bag but today I tried them. It wasn’t that hard. I even did a few pull-ups. It wasn’t exhausting—either I’m lighter or my arms are stronger.
After that we studied maths together at Hee-jeong’s. Her textbook looks a million times harder than mine. The questions are so long that understanding the question is already difficult. I’m already worrying about finals. I mustn’t drop in maths…
Grandad called from Jeju. Grandma had got out of the car and left her handbag inside with the hotel key in it. And Grandad had lost the car key. In the rain they’d opened the umbrella and were lost. They explained to the hotel staff who helped them. The car key was stuck in the car door lock. And the handbag? Not in the car. In Grandad’s rucksack.
I hope Grandad doesn’t ‘lose’ Grandma.
Tuesday, 24th May
Because of the ‘maths gifted’ class I’ve become a loner. Hee-jeong, Dong-wan, Jong-gu. They’re all in it. I’m not.
Before going home I stopped by the bungeo-ppang Hyung’s stall for the first time in a while. He said sales were down because of the heat. He was quitting after this week. From June he’s starting at a video game company. Composing music for the backgrounds apparently. Three-month contract.
‘You do it because you love it? No. You do it to eat.’ He said. That sentence sounded too familiar. I’ve heard it somewhere before…
Wednesday, 25th May
Yesterday after the gifted class Jong-gu confessed to Hee-jeong that he likes Hye-seon. Hee-jeong told Hye-seon and Hye-seon likes Jong-gu too. So our class has a second couple. Only Dong-wan has become a loner again. Spring is the season of love.
Grandad and Grandma came back from Jeju after three days. Grandma said they did ‘Operation Fits of Laughter’. They decided to take dementia tests for both of them.
They gave me a black sweater bought duty-free in Jeju. A thick sweater for autumn. It’s the start of summer and they give me a sweater! There must’ve been last year’s stock on promotion. But I’m still happy.
Thursday, 26th May
The verdict. Grandad and Grandma are perfectly normal. The doctor said it often happens in unfamiliar places and there was nothing to worry about.
Dad suggested Grandad come live with us but Grandma refused ‘I don’t want to look after you anymore.’
Friday, 27th May
Our class won the girls’ 400m relay. Hee-jeong ran fourth and made a spectacular comeback. She runs better than many boys. Dong-wan and Jong-gu gave everything but basketball finished third. Tug-of-war got knocked out in the qualifiers.
After the sports festival we went to play table tennis. Me, Hee-jeong, Dong-wan, Jong-gu, Hye-seon. Five of us. Jong-gu said a table had arrived at the Bamseom community centre. We dumped our adrenaline into ping-pong. Jong-gu played very well. It was Hee-jeong’s first time but she learnt quickly. Dong-wan surprisingly couldn’t even get the ball over the net. He said the ball was too light. Hye-seon even with explanations couldn’t hold the racket properly. I’d learnt a bit with Grandad. Jong-gu challenged me. First game, we went to deuce but he won. The next two games I won back-to-back. Jong-gu had to pay for pizza and cola.
With Hee-jeong’s satisfied gaze on me… I felt like I could fly.
Saturday, 28th May
After maths at Aunt Jeong-su’s Hee-jeong came to my place. She envied our detached house a lot. Their flat in Bamseom is suffocating and the upstairs neighbours go thump thump. She hates it. She saw Dad’s bookshelf and looked shocked. Truthfully in our home the only thing to be proud of is books. And as decoration nothing is more useful than a book.
We also stopped by the bungeo-ppang Hyung’s stall but he wasn’t there. We’ll probably see him again in autumn. Grandad and Grandma found Hee-jeong cute and pretty. Obviously…
After walking her home I came back and studied maths. I’m considering asking Mum to arrange English lessons too.
Sunday, 29th May
Mum called Aunt Jeong-su early. She said Byeok wanted to learn English and asked what to do. Aunt Jeong-su said to focus on school first as always. If I wanted spoken English she could introduce me to Uncle’s English teacher. On the condition I came before 10:25.
At Aunt Jeong-su’s Uncle was talking on the computer with a Black man. Uncle seemed fairly fluent. He sat me in front of the screen and introduced me. The man spoke to me but I understood nothing. For a few minutes Uncle translated then he stepped back. ‘Now you manage.’ For the next ten minutes the only word I said was ‘Yes’. Twenty-five times. I don’t even know if there were moments I should’ve said ‘No’. Uncle behind me just snorted with laughter.
Thanks to him I’ll do free talking with Mr Jamie every Saturday at 10:40 for an hour.
I feel like I’m clinging too hard to studying just to please Hee-jeong. This isn’t me.
A foreigner moved into the neighbour’s attic room. His skin is a bit dark. He looks Indian or Filipino.
Monday, 30th May
I dreamed I was drowning. I flailed shouting for help when Mr Jamie—staring at me—asked ‘Can you speak English?’ I yelled ‘Yes! Yes!’ Then he started speaking for ages in completely incomprehensible English. I woke with a jolt. ‘Oh no!’
Dreaming in English! That must be a sign my tongue will finally loosen.
Tuesday, 31st May
Our form tutor said next Friday there will be an English listening assessment. I should check if there’s anyone in the family who’s ‘possessed by a spirit’…