November - The Workshop
Tuesday, 1st November
From the very first day of November bad news. In Mr Sisina’s civil case, the court has ordered the attacker to pay only four million won in compensation. That sum includes medical fees five days’ lost wages and a little moral damage. Dong-wan says it wouldn’t even cover the lawyer’s fees. Luckily his father told Mr Sisina not to worry about the legal costs.
Dad is in the workshop endlessly typing something on his laptop. It can’t be another petition for Mr Sisina. So what on earth is it?
Wednesday, 2nd November
Jong-gu’s older brother was waiting in front of the school gate. But Jong-gu was absent today. He’d caught a heavy cold from exhaustion and stayed home. When Dong-wan tried to ring Jong-gu on his phone his brother said it wasn’t a good idea. He only told us to get along well with Jong-gu then left. His back walking away with regret looked terribly lonely. There are far too many unhappy people in this world. Why is that?
Thursday, 3rd November
Dad spends all day in the workshop looping Mahler’s Symphony No. 9. No matter how often I hear it I don’t get used to it. I don’t understand why anyone would listen to music that doesn’t even have a tune.
While Dad sits on the sofa listening I do maths at his table. Mahler doesn’t bother me at all for studying. Since it doesn’t catch the ear it doesn’t disturb anything. What a strange kind of music.
In the evening Mum came down and joked that two raccoons were now living in our cellar. As always Dad gave up the sofa to Mum. Thankfully he didn’t start talking about his university days.
Friday, 4th November
A miracle happened today. I solved a maths problem that even Hee-jeong couldn’t solve. I shall say nothing about her surprise and delight. I must absolutely thank Aunt Jeong-su. Thanks to the problem she taught me last week I earned praise from Hee-jeong.
Saturday, 5th November
In the morning after finishing maths and English I went to Dong-wan’s. These days whenever we gather there are six of us by default. Me, Hee-jeong, Dong-wan, Min-a, Jong-gu and Hye-seon. Dong-wan’s mum said that because of us their Engel coefficient was rising. Engel coefficient isn’t that some sort of population density index?
Sunday, 6th November
For Mum’s birthday, Mum and Dad have gone on a trip to Sokcho for three days and two nights. From today I have to stay two days at Grandpa’s. Mum and Dad got up at dawn making a big fuss supposedly to pack. I would have packed everything last night. I don’t understand why for such an important birthday I’m the only one being left out. They’re not trying to make a second child are they?
Monday, 7th November
In the morning I stopped by home to give Baduk his breakfast then went to school. My heart felt a little heavy that I couldn’t take him to Grandpa’s yesterday, but Baduk knew nothing of that. He just had his head buried in his bowl. I also served him a well-filled lunch in advance then left.
After school I went back to give him dinner. Then I took a book by Romain Rolland from Dad’s shelf. The Life of Beethoven. And went to Grandpa’s. With the classical concert on 9 December I’m becoming more and more interested in classical music. After dinner I read The Life of Beethoven. It was gripping. I feel as if Romain Rolland wrote it in a state of excitement. You often hear Beethoven had a dreadful temper but I didn’t know he was such a noble person.
I was deeply moved by The Heiligenstadt Testament. A musician who can no longer hear. It’s unimaginable. There’s a striking passage so I copy it here.
I am not in the habit of correcting my works once they are finished. Up to now I have never altered anything for I am convinced that such changes destroy the very character of the work.
Composition and maths may be similar. When I go back to a problem I’ve already solved to correct it I always end up getting it wrong too!
Tuesday, 8th November
Today is Mum’s birthday. Since Mum and Dad have both gone to Sokcho I feel a bit put out. This morning I went to feed Baduk. He at least looks put out by nothing. That pet-shop seller who said a distant cousin of the Jindo. That was surely a lie.
I bought flowers as a birthday present for Mum. In a good mood Mum kissed me on the cheek. Yet I’m grown up now. I don’t need Mum’s kisses anymore. Unless it were a kiss from Hee-jeong. That would be another matter.
Mum and Dad brought back piles of cuttlefish from Sokcho saying it was top quality. They also bought several jars of salted cod roe. They gave all of that to Hee-jeong’s family and Dong-wan’s. At Aunt Jeong-su’s they even added specially a jar of salted cuttlefish, a jar of salted fish tripe, a jar of salted gills and a jar of salted baby cuttlefish. At Grandpa’s instead of cuttlefish they gave dried fish and salted cod roe. Since Mr Sisina wasn’t home I left a bag of dried fish at the entrance to his rooftop room with a note. In the evening Mr Sisina came to thank us.
Dad freed from side dishes hums as he rearranges the fridge. For a while our banchan will be salted cod roe, salted cuttlefish, salted tripe, salted gills, salted baby cuttlefish and fried eggs. Aaah!
Wednesday, 9th November
Cheol-jin was playing a game in class and the form tutor confiscated his smartphone. It had already been taken once in science class a few days ago. After that lesson he’d gone to the staff room and just about got it back. And today he’s lost it again.
Cheol-jin, even if the teacher warns him a hundred times it never sinks in. The form tutor said ‘One more time and your parents will have to come to school to collect it.’ I think that’s a very wise decision.
Dad keeps on writing something in the workshop. But what is it?
Thursday, 10th November
On the table in Dad’s workshop there’s a sheet of paper pinned up with these words.
- The Thumb’s Eye
- The Vanishing Point
- The Audacious Day of Mr Hwang Manduk Naturally Shy
- The False Singers
- Mr Imugi Part-Time Lecturer and the 007 Briefcase
- The Man Who Was Left with Nine Card Holders
- The Mystery of Mister Lee
But what on earth can all this be?
Friday, 11th November
Mum rang to say she’ll be home very late because of work. So Dad and I went to have dinner at Grandpa’s. We took Baduk too but Dad tied him up in front of the entrance. It was Baduk’s first time in a block of flats and he looked very uneasy. And then he started sniffing every single pair of shoes one by one. What a mutt! Though come to think of it he looks a lot like my father who always sniffs his socks when he takes them off.
After dinner Grandpa Dad and Baduk went out for a walk. Dad walked with Baduk and I walked with Grandpa. Grandpa patted my head and said ‘Byeok you’ve been working hard especially at maths and your grades have improved a lot. That makes your grandpa very happy.’
I replied ‘Yes. I don’t really know how it happened. I didn’t exactly plan it.’
Grandpa smiled ‘It’s because of Hee-jeong isn’t it?’
‘Ah yes…’ I was surprised and stammered.
Then I quickly changed the subject like deflecting an arrow. ‘But Grandpa… is Dad a good son? A filial son?’
Grandpa answered without hesitation. ‘Of course. Your father is a good son.’
I insisted on purpose. ‘But Dad doesn’t work he doesn’t earn money and he can’t even give much pocket money to you and Grandma.’
Grandpa laughed ‘No Byeok. You don’t know yet. Your father is writing now. He’s always wanted to write. Until now he worked in a company just to live because we had to eat. And now he’s finally doing what he wants to do. Don’t you think your father is classy?’
‘Really?’
‘Of course. And when he was little your father did everything he could to make me happy. We raised him in real happiness. That’s enough. Grandpa has nothing more to ask for.’
The gentle smile at the corner of Grandpa’s lips spread all the way to me as if it stuck to my face. What is this feeling of fullness?
Saturday, 12th November
Jamie asked how my life had been lately. I told him about Baduk our new family member and that we were going to a classical concert next month so I sometimes heard Mahler. Well. Saying ‘I listen to Mahler’ is an exaggeration. Every time I go down to the workshop I just catch a few bars that’s all. Jamie seemed to understand my clumsy English. When I talk with him I use my hands and eyes more than my mouth. Sometimes I even use my whole body.
He told me that before he was in a wheelchair he sometimes went to concerts. But now even going out alone for a walk in the park isn’t easy.
Of course sir. At the hospital in Paris when I was sitting in a wheelchair in A&E you were the first person I thought of. I only said that in my head. Because even with gestures I don’t think it would have got across.
Jamie is preparing a trip to Boston with his wife before winter comes. Not long. Three nights and four days. It’s not very far from New York so they decided to try it for the first time.
After studying at Aunt Jeong-su’s I went to hang out at Hee-jeong’s. Since her brother seemed to have done very well in his exam the mood in the house was joyful. From the atmosphere you’d think he’d already been admitted to art school. Good. When he goes to the Prado Museum next year I’ll have to follow Hee-jeong!
Sunday, 13th November
This morning it’s very cold.
Autumn deepens.
Dead leaves roll in the street.
Dad rolls in the workshop.
Baduk rolls in his kennel.
And I roll over my desk crushed by maths homework.
In the afternoon I went to the bookshop to buy a book to read to Hee-jeong. I leafed through this leafed through that… and in the end chose a book by Patrick Süskind. The Pigeon. It’s thin. Perfect.
Monday, 14th November
This Friday our school is holding the autumn festival the Bamseom-je. After classes everyone is busy rehearsing dance and singing. Total commotion. I do nothing. I have no particular talent. I was born a bad singer and a bad dancer. Staying quiet and not bothering others already counts as helping with the organisation.
Hee-jeong on the other hand will be exhibiting a painting. The art teacher asked her specially. No one asked me to write a poem. In any case I don’t intend to become a poet so I don’t mind.
Tuesday, 15th November
The Pigeon by Patrick Süskind is a sad story. I was glad to find familiar places like the Seine in Paris or Montparnasse Cemetery but the content is horrible. Because of a single pigeon the hero is pushed to the brink of suicide.
I hope he doesn’t die.
Wednesday, 16th November
I woke with a start. In my dream a swarm of pigeons was chasing me and I was running like an idiot. That’s definitely a bad sign. Something bad is going to happen for sure.
Thursday, 17th November
I knew it. Today the final exam timetable was posted. That damned pigeon must stand for exams. To say that a pigeon symbolises peace. That’s pure rubbish.
- Tuesday, 6 December : Korean, Social Studies, Ethics
- Wednesday, 7 December : English, Music
- Thursday, 8 December : Science, Chinese characters
- Friday, 9 December : Maths
Hee-jeong showed me the painting she’ll exhibit at the Bamseom-je. It was fantastic and dreamlike. On the left and right people were gathered all wearing pointed hats like strange hoods. In the centre smoke rose and spread like a cloud. At the bottom was the head of a huge snake pierced by a great blade and a figure as if the owner of the sword seemed to be suffering terribly.
Hee-jeong almost avoided colour. She used only pen and black paint. It was frightening and bizarre. What on earth can be in Hee-jeong’s head to imagine something like that?
In The Pigeon Jonathan went back to his flat after The Pigeon left. Good. I can finally breathe too. I’ll be able to focus on revision. I’d better stop reading books for a while.
Friday, 18th November
Because of the rain the Bamseom-je was held in the school gym. Hee-jeong’s painting was pushed into a corner and displayed as best it could be. The headteacher and deputy head jumped. ‘But what is this painting?’ The art teacher explained well but couldn’t stop it being shoved aside. Adults find it healthy when children imitate celebrities by dancing and singing.
That night lying in bed I suddenly thought that the very fact the headteacher and deputy wanted to push the painting away was exactly what Hee-jeong was trying to express. She had painted people’s prejudices.
The pointed-hat people were the mass of normal people. The snake was Mr Sisina or Dong-wan. The owner of the sword was someone bad. And she’d made everything dark with only pen and black paint.
Tomorrow I must ask Hee-jeong.
Saturday, 19th November
Hee-jeong heard my interpretation and burst out laughing. She said ‘You interpret more than the dream itself.’ According to her the painting was just a reproduction of a dream she’d had a few days ago.
No, no! In Hee-jeong’s unconscious there must be thoughts like that. I thought again. The pointed hat symbolises the KKK and the snake represents a powerful force. In Harry Potter too, Voldemort and Harry both speak snake language and have mysterious power right? And then… um…
And what if as Hee-jeong says it really is just an interpretation bigger than the dream?
Sunday, 20th November
Autumn is ending. In Seoul the temperature has dropped below zero.
Hee-jeong and I studied at my place for the finals. Since my Korean marks weren’t good last time we decided to do a little every day. We also decided to learn chinese characters in small doses because they don’t go into my head easily. Science is hard so we need to review it now and then. Music isn’t simple either. Better start early. Social studies can’t be neglected. Even with ten heads it wouldn’t be enough. The easiest subjects are maths and English. Something’s wrong.
In the afternoon I read a little of The Pigeon to Hee-jeong. The first pages were a bit awkward. At the start Jonathan’s wife gives birth to a boy only four months after marriage then runs off with a fruit seller.
Every time I read this book aloud I feel my body tense. Probably because the atmosphere of The Pigeon is very different from Mr Sommer’s Story. But strangely The Pigeon attracts me more.
Monday, 21st November
Jong-gu’s parents are in the middle of divorce proceedings. The father absolutely refuses to divorce and the mother has packed her bags saying she can’t live under the same roof anymore. Even today they argued violently over compensation and Jong-gu’s custody.
Jong-gu says he doesn’t want to follow either his mum or his dad. I feel sorry for Jong-gu.
Tuesday, 22nd November
Today is Grandma’s birthday. I bought her a rose and gave it to her with a card. ‘Thank you Grandma. Please always stay healthy!’
Wednesday, 23rd November
Jong-gu has run away. What happened? Dong-wan tried calling Jong-gu on his mobile but it was switched off. Hye-seon spent the day sniffing on the verge of tears.
Thursday, 24th November
Jong-gu has come home. Yesterday he went to his older brother’s place but his brother sent him back. His brother probably isn’t yet in a position to feed and house him. Still it would be nice if they could live together.
But Jong-gu’s face is much brighter than before. What promise could his brother have made him?
Friday, 25th November
According to Dong-wan if Jong-gu’s parents divorce Jong-gu has decided to follow his mother. That way he can live with his older brother. In fact Jong-gu’s brother had sometimes met their mother in secret without the father knowing. And the mother had also quietly helped her eldest son with money.
When Jong-gu ran away he spent a night with his brother and that’s when he learned all this. His brother asked him to hold on just a little longer and above all. If their parents divorce to follow their mother no matter what. Then the three of them could live under the same roof. The mother the older brother and him.
That must be what made Jong-gu’s face brighter. My heart hurts.
Saturday, 26th November
After maths and English at Aunt Jeong-su’s Hee-jeong and I went back to my place. Dad is still writing something in the workshop. And Mahler’s Symphony No. 9 is still looping. Every time I go in it’s the same music. Not long ago Dad used to slump on the sofa watching Flash Girl absent-mindedly… it’s incredible.
Hee-jeong asked my father curious. ‘Doesn’t it bore you to listen to the same music every day?’
He replied ‘Huh? What music?’
I added ‘This music. You only ever play Mahler’s music.’
He said ‘No I’m not listening to it. I just let it run.’
‘Huh!’ Hee-jeong and I cried at the same time.
He explained ‘Mahler’s music doesn’t go into the ear so it doesn’t bother work. Music with a nice melody gets in the way of work.’
Dad’s work isn’t solving maths problems but he’s like me. Hee-jeong looked at the paper stuck in front of Dad’s table and asked ‘What’s that? The Thumb’s Eye, The Vanishing Point and The Audacious Day…?’
Dad’s eyes lit up. ‘Oh that? That’s the story I’m writing at the moment. I heard something in Rome this summer. Want to hear it?’
‘Yes!’ we both said.
Dad began. ‘They say there was this. Among the people I met in Rome there was someone from Palermo in Sicily. Sicily is a bit like Jeju for us. Anyway the man was called Toto and he always walked around with a huge umbrella. An umbrella as big as a parasol. One day I asked him if such an umbrella wasn’t heavy. And Toto said he had no choice. A few years ago he’d travelled in the Sahara and under the blazing sun his shadow had burned then evaporated. Since then he’d searched for his shadow everywhere but never found it again. So that nobody would notice he always walks under an umbrella. And then one day he learned there were other people who’d lost their shadows. If you go to Saint-Germain in Paris. Ah you’ve been there too. The place where Byeok stepped in dog poo and slipped. Anyway there’s a club there called Beldejour. When the full moon hangs over the Eiffel Tower the people who’ve lost their shadows gather there. According to Toto someone went on an expedition to Antarctica and his shadow froze solid there. He had to come back leaving it behind. Someone else took a nap on a beach in Montpellier and had his shadow stolen. And the strangest case is a man called Benjamin. On a day of fierce wind his shadow flew off into the sky. Terrible really. But recently someone has appeared who supposedly owns more than ten shadows. A certain Count Olivier. Toto is convinced he’s a shadow thief. Soon they’re going to form a pursuit team to catch him. I wanted to join but since I still have my shadow I can’t become a member. So I came back home. That’s all.’
Alert! Dad is weird!
Sunday, 27th November
Mum says Dad is perfectly normal. The story he told Hee-jeong and me is the content of the novel he’s writing at the moment. Every evening Dad tells Mum what he’s written. Mum says she’s bored to death.
Well that’s her problem. For me at least what a relief. I almost had to go visit Dad in a psychiatric hospital.
Dad says that when his book comes out and he gets royalties he’ll become rich. Mum replies that compared with the novel that sentence is even harder to believe.
Monday, 28th November
Dong-wan’s father called my father and Hee-jeong’s father. He suggested that at the end of the year the three families go on a trip together. All the dads said yes.
But they haven’t chosen the destination yet. And of course they didn’t even ask the mums’ permission. I wonder if they really have the right to decide like that as they please.
Tuesday, 29th November
The holidays haven’t even started and Mum and Dad are already talking about where to go. While their one and only precious son has his finals. A matter of life and death. Right under his nose they have absolutely no interest in it. I’m free-range. Left to grow like a plant.
I’d quite like Sokcho. Watching the first sunrise of the year there with Hee-jeong… that would be so beautiful. And our love would deepen.
Wednesday, 30th November
Only one week left before the exams. Dong-wan studies with Min-a almost every day. Between love and friendship Dong-wan chose love without the slightest hesitation! Hee-jeong went straight home because her brother was going to help her revise. Jong-gu and Hye-seon study together in a study room avoiding the eyes of Jong-gu’s father.
If there were no exams could we not study? I don’t know. I don’t dislike studying but I really hate exams. I want to live in a world without exams.